think like chev, think like chev.

Whoever said engineers have no sense of humor, never worked for this bunch…..

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident).
(P = The problem logged by the pilot).

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers).
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode prodeces a 200 feet per minute decent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievable loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windsheld.

S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.