WHY I LOVE Manitoba
When it's Christmas time in Manitoba
And the gentle breezes blow,
About sixty miles an hour And it's forty-five below.
You can tell you're in Manitoba' Cause the snow's up to your butt,
And you take a breath of Christmas air And your nostrils both freeze shut.
The weather here is wonderful, So I guess I'll hang around,
I could NEVER leave Manitoba
My feet are frozen to the ground!

we had 63 teens show up to go tubing! this is awesome. we were leaving at 6:30 and load everyone into a bus and role! this is awesome. we had a 12 passenger van and a 8 passenger minivan for overflow. this is awesome. i got a call at 6:10 saying the bus that we were depending on was not going to run. this is NOT awesome. we had 63 teens and seating for 20 we also had 4 leaders but that is another story, (supposed to have 12) i begged borrowed and stole every car, van, truck, or what ever else came in the parking lot. we ended up with enough seating for everyone with 2 seats left over! this is awesome.

is anyone selling a 15 passenger van? I'm looking.

so there

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the micro wave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan . I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day.... Oh, by the way..... A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. Best Wishes..... Me

take that scotty

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

remember?

remember the doorbell looking thing that we found in the kitchen?
it was a very old phone line junction box. and the line got cut, so we had no phone but we didn't know that cuz no one called us to tell us that our phone wasn't working so we needed to wait till my cell phone died and i needed to call rogers to get a new phone. there were no phones in my world that worked. so let this be a lesson to you, do not cut your door bell wires cuz your cell phone will cack

new old house?

now, i am going to assume that there will be some quirks involving the ownership and living in of an old house. i think that is to be expected. there are some creaks and some groanes as well as a boiler that is sometimes loud. we don't exactly know when the wiring was first put in but we do know that at least some of it has been updated to present code. so far so good.
i used to work at a shop where from time to time a car would come in to get fixed and it would magically develop some other major problems that would be very sever and need to be addressed (like the transmission stopping working) and we would have to call the owner and tell them. The conversation would go like this
ME. hello sir or madam, your car is fixed but it is also screwed up.
THEM what did you do?
ME nothing, it just died, we didn't touch that part of the car
THEM well you must have done something cuz it was working when i brought it in.
ME we fixed the flat tire like you asked but now your tranny is busted. not our fault
THEM cars don't just stop working
ME that is exactly what they do, what are you talking about?
THEM this is a high quality cavalier and i want you to buy me another one at full cost!
ME here is a twenty, go get another
THEM and here is 13 change.


now i an awair that things happen but i just want you to all know that the plumber is at my house and now the phones don't work! must be his fault

yesterday we got insulation blowin into our laundry room. this is a room off the back of the house that began its life as a mud room. this room had a very small bathroom, with a sink that came out of an airplane bathroom so it is the size of a very small bowl, or a slightly large tomato juice can. there was a washing macheen as well as a dryer and on the other side of the room is a freezer. well, during the renovations of this room and the kitchen, we found some wiring problems and some pluming issues. nothing major but enough to bring in a plumber and an electrician. in order to make sure they can do there job, we tried to do as much work as we could to allow the tradesmen (in this case they are men, i know there names so get off my back!!) to know exactly what they are dealing with. Here is my point, when you insulate a room (i should point out that the inside wall is the kitchen wall and it was also uninsulated) the entire house gets way way warmer! so here is my plan, if we ever do any work in an outside wall for any reason, i am going to make sure the insulation is in perfect working order, (so no chev insulation aloud! ha!) if the insulation could be better, it will be made better. i cant believe how much warmer the entire house is. this is a 100 year old house with 100 year old windows and it is -25 outside (go put synthetic oil in your car right now! don't be stupid just put it in) the house is warm
awesome


Chris will never read this cuz he thinks he is better than everyone else! but he is bald so i still win!!

and my feet are cold

this is facing the counter with your back to the front door
the sink was here
the stove was againsed the wall that is not here anymore
sigh

i have no kitchen, it is actually in a dumpster in my backyard. here is the interesting thing, after looking at layers of wallpaper that was under cood panniling that was painted at least 2 times, we found good sheetrock. there are also some electrical suprises but nothing money wont fix! we did find NEW WIRING in some plases so that is great but things like hidden switches and live bare live wires that go no where. it kinda reminds me of my first jeep. just ask chris about that one. any way, our appliances are in the living room and our washer and dryer are in the way

here is some pics